I don't know why...

but I'm going to make another entry. There doesn't seem to be much reason for it anymore. I don't know anyone that still takes the time to check this.  Maybe it's just that I've had a long day and am waiting for someone to come along and fix this vertebra that's been tugging on my nerves all day.

Life's been...well, life. Anyone keeping an eye on Cedar Rapids knows that we had an awful winter and an even worse summer.  Half the city is destroyed. I'm fortunate enough to live on a hill and therefore went untouched.

This year's trip will involve spending Samhain (Halloween) in New Orleans.  Not quite as far as London, but still exciting for me.  I need to get out of here. Every attempt I've made at a break this year has been thwarted by my sister's wedding or cancellations or floods or surgeries.  I really need a break. Work has been difficult. Wonderful for about the past month, nearly unbearable before that.  For the first time in over two years, I seriously considered quitting my job.  But everything worked out and it's going really well now.  I have a fantastic team and things are running fairly smoothly.

I'm in school as well.  Should have my bachelor's by September of 2010.  I hate it, as expected, but at least it will go quickly, and I've gotten A's so far.

I don't talk to too many people anymore.  The older I get the less need I feel for companionship.  Yet companionship keeps me in this god-forsaken town.  Ironic.  I hate this place.  But I love my person, and much as it kills the hippy in me to admit it, I love my job.  And the dojo.  I've become increasingly effective at the combative arts taught there and am becoming stronger almost every day. The Coglans are perhaps some of my truest friends here.  Which is strange.  Dan is an older man with opinions diametrically opposed to my own.  And Micheal is a very confused 17-year old that can hardly make sense of his own life (even more so, I think, than most 17-year olds).  Yet I find myself enjoying my time with them more than almost anyone else.  And working with Michael on the floor is fantastic. As with many things in life I find myself becoming bored with regular classes there, but not when working with him.  His talent is extraordinary; I don't have to slow myself down or worry about hurting him because he doesn't move or performs incorrectly.  I'd like to think I'm at least good enough to entertain him; perhaps one day even be a challenge. His sister is suddenly absent, and ,while it saddens me, it was not an entirely unexpected development.  Her mind has been drifting farther and farther from the dojo, as was evidenced by more and more mistakes.  I had hoped we would grow closer.  Not as friends, exactly, but maybe with a kind of sisterly bond.  Her attention lies elsewhere, eliminating that possibility.

I don't know what else to say. I feel there's so much.  I wonder sometimes where my old friends are.  Sometimes I even wish I could see them again, if only to feel less alone.  But, then, I suppose I feel even more lonely when in the company of people who don't quite know what to make of me, so maybe it's better this way.  I have Paul, and I can talk to him about most of what's on my mind, most of the time. 

My private thoughts are poison, and I've no one but myself to share them with.

If you need to get a hold of me...

Obviously I don't get on here much anymore.  But my e-mail is playfulowl@yahoo.com.  If I get spam, I will kill someone.

Anywho, for those who actually care about the progress of my life, it's been wonderful.  Very busy, but wonderful.  In late September my car died and I decided it was time to use my income to reward myself a little.  So I got a little red mustang, and she's been very good to me.  Not a single ticket yet. :)  I spent the first week of October in England, and that was so much fun.  Paul came, of course, and we went to Stonehenge, visited some small villages and old ruins, and then spent a couple days wandering around London.  The tea really is fantastic, though I can't understand how they justify drinking it like seven times a day!  Seriously, our hosts were all over the tea.  "Time to wake up, have some tea!"  "Do you want some tea with breakfast?"  "We're going to the store, do you want some tea before we leave?"  "Okay, back from the store, how about some tea?"  For all that Americans make fun of them for it, Brits truly do love their tea.  And the chocolate was delicious.  It's made with a lot of milk and sugar, which is why we dont' get much of it over here (can't survive the trip).  Oh, what else is happening.  I upgraded my apartment.  Oddly enough, I'm living in the same place I started out in.  It's a little more expensive than when I was there before, but they have, as usual, been very kind and accomodating.  And now I have a guest room!  Then there's always work.  I'm on an earlier shift now, so I start at 6 and get off at 2:30.  Works out pretty well for the dojo.

Speaking of, if anyone is out there and interested, we have our winter program on December 8, and I will be doing a lot in it.  Working with very long staff and killing a nice man named Dave. :)

That's about all for now.  It keeps me busy.  I check my e-mail far more often, so if anyone is trying to get a hold of me, try that and stay away from here.